


"Sam Ecklund & Peter Maldonado Answer the Web's Most Searched Questions" [Transcript]

by phonecallfromgod



Category: American Vandal (TV)
Genre: Epistolary, Established Relationship, Interviews, M/M, Transcript Format
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-20
Updated: 2018-10-20
Packaged: 2019-08-04 17:37:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16351130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phonecallfromgod/pseuds/phonecallfromgod
Summary: "American Vandal" co-creators Sam Ecklund and Peter Maldonado take the WIRED Autocomplete Interview and answer the internet's most searched questions about themselves. Did Sam Ecklund wear braces? Is Peter Maldonado related to Tyler Alvarez? Did American Vandal win an Emmy?





	"Sam Ecklund & Peter Maldonado Answer the Web's Most Searched Questions" [Transcript]

**Author's Note:**

> I would highly suggest watching one of the actual WIRED autocomplete interviews if you're not familiar with the format.

_Hey Fandals!_

_Thought I would share this transcript of the recent Wired interview for anyone who needs it for accessibility reasons, or would just like a copy! I know there’s been some discourse about the questions asked in the video, but it’s important to remember that these sorts of things are less spontaneous than they appear and I’m sure if either Sam or Peter were uncomfortable they would have asked for things to be edited out of the video. This also isn’t done with ~Official Technical Transcription~ notion, but hopefully it’s pretty accurate/legible. With that said please enjoy and if you do repost please link and/or give me credit._

_xo Mod V_

 

* * *

 

**Sam Ecklund & Peter Maldonado Answer the Web’s Most Searched Questions | WIRED**

Video Description: "American Vandal" co-creators Sam Ecklund and Peter Maldonado take the WIRED Autocomplete Interview and answer the internet's most searched questions about themselves. Did Sam Ecklund wear braces? Is Peter Maldonado related to Tyler Alvarez? Did American Vandal win an Emmy? (Posted September 4th 2018)

**Peter and Sam are sitting against a white background, Peter is on the left and wearing a light blue button down shirt with a grid pattern open over a grey t-shirt. Sam is on the right and wearing a long sleeved baseball t-shirt with blue sleeves and an orange collar (as seen in 1.1)**

Peter: Hello, I’m Peter Maldonado and I’m the creator of the Netflix Original Docuseries American Vandal.

_(Long pause)_

Sam: Oh sorry I thought you were going to say all your other titles

Peter: No. I told you I wasn’t

Sam: Cool. Keeping it humble. Great. _(laughs)_ Hey I’m Sam Ecklund and I’m the co-producer of American Vandal and today we are doing the...

Peter: Wired Autocomplete Interview.

Sam: Doing great already.

*upbeat music playing*

_Text Card: Autocomplete suggests the most common searches on the internet_

Sam: How many titles do you actually have? Creator, director, co-producer—

Peter: —Editor.

Sam: _(Jokingly, counting on his fingers)_ Stunt coordinator, animal handler, head chef...

_Text Card: So WIRED asked the creators of American Vandal the internet’s burning questions_

**Peter is holding a large white piece of foam board which looks like a google search box with ‘Is Sam Ecklund’ written in it, underneath different questions are covered with a white tape so only ‘Sam Ecklund’ and ‘is’ are seen. Peter removes the tape before reading each question. The following question segments employ this same methodology.**

Peter: Alright first thing’s first—

Sam: —Beauty before age.

Peter: ‘Is Sam Ecklund…’ _(He struggles with the tape for a moment)_ ‘single?’

Sam: Oh big one to start.

Peter: These are the internet’s most burning questions.

Sam: Some fiery, fiery questions. Am I single? Well I guess we’d really have to define being single, because I have not you know, morphed with anyone recently. To my knowledge.

Peter: True, true.

Sam: I will say that I am singularly focused on the pursuit of _truth_ and _justice_. So in that case dear viewer, you could say I am single.

Peter: Good answer, good answer. Okay, ‘Is Sam Ecklund Jewish?’

Sam. Well, okay, there’s kind of two answers to that.

Peter: You are though.

Sam: Well, yeah I would, I would consider myself Jewish for sure. But some people wouldn't because I’m Jewish on my dad’s side. But much like Carrie Fisher, I would consider myself to be for sure.

Peter: What is your mom’s side anyways?

Sam: Oh my god they’re like all Unitarian. Fun fact, _(Sam does a little flourishing hand gesture)_ that is how my parents met because in Oceanside one of the Synagogues and a Unitarian fellowship is in the same building and that’s how they met.

Peter: That’s adorable, I didn’t know that.

Sam: The more you know.

Peter: Well, thank god we’re doing this interview. Okay, question three. _(He struggles with the tape again)_ ‘What is...Sam Ecklund’s eye color?’

Sam: Oh, well you can answer that.

Peter: Uh—

_(Sam immediately throws his hand over his eyes)_

Sam: —Peter I swear to god if you don’t know this one...

Peter: They’re like greenish. A like, greenish...brown.

Sam: _(moves hand away)_ Ten points for accuracy, and like, minus twenty points for eloquence.

Peter: Bro—

Sam: —Don’t bro me. ‘Greenish brown,’ c’mon. They're hazel.

Peter: _(Overlapping)_ Alright last question.

Sam: Okay, okay.

Peter: ‘Is Sam Ecklund a vegan?’

Sam: Nope. No. I do enjoy a good tofu scramble on occasion, though. I’m all about those alternative proteins.

Peter: You need a hat that says that.

Sam: Hell yeah.

**Cuts to; Sam holding the same kind of white board with ‘what Peter Maldonado’ in the top “search box.”**

Sam: You ready for this?

Peter: Yeah I feel good, hit me with it.

Sam: Come on big money, okay, ‘what college did Peter Maldonado go to?’ Oh a trick question.

Peter: So we’re both actually doing sort of a gap...uh, semester. Since we’re pretty busy with season two launching. Did graduate high school though.

Sam: Shout out to Hanover High, home of the—

Peter: Humpbacks.

Sam: I was gonna say the guys who created American Vandal, but you’re valid.

_(They laugh)_

Peter: Hmm, I guess though, to kind of answer the question. I applied to UCLA—

Sam: _(overlapping)_ —USC—

Peter: —Yeah, USC, and, uh—

Sam: _(overlapping)_ —NYU—

Peter: —You already got your turn, shush. But yeah, all great schools. Would be amazing to go to any of them. Waiting to hear back right now for Winter semester.

Sam: Cool, great, start sucking up now. Moving on, ‘What Peter Maldonado,’ fantastic grammar on these, ‘What Peter Maldonado doing right now?’

Peter: I’m uh, doing the Wired Autocomplete Interview.

Sam: Very accurate, man.

Peter: Thank you.

Sam: ‘What Peter Maldonado...eyelashes?’ What Peter Maldonado eyelashes? Alright, sure, not sure what that means but it’s your question, Pete, not mine.

Peter: Uhhh well I sure do have eyelashes.

Sam: They’re very long.

Peter: They are long, this might be, I think this might be in the same vein as when I get instagram comments to leak my eyelash routine.

Sam: That’s not a _thing_ —

Peter: —No, for real I get them all the time.

Sam: No, I mean an eyelash routine isn’t a thing.

Peter: Oh. Yeah, gotcha, gotcha.

Sam: Maybe it’s like, the important thing isn’t the answer but just to ask the question—

Peter: _(overlapping)_ What Peter Maldonado eyelashes?

Sam: And what eyelashes they are. Fantastic. Fingers crossed for better..okay, ‘What zodiac sign is Peter Maldonado,’ aw.

Peter: I think I’m a Sagittarius.

Sam: No you’re not. You’re an Aquarius.

Peter: Right, right, yeah sorry that’s what I meant, Aquarius. ...I don’t really know what that means, honestly.

_(Sam snorts)_

Sam: Alright, last one for this round, lets make it good. ‘What is Peter Maldonado like...in real life?’

Peter: I feel like that’s more a question for you to answer.

Sam: ( _After a long pause)_ He’s good.

Peter: _(Jokingly)_ He’s _fine._

Sam: _(Jokingly)_ He’s alright, solid 6.5/10.

_(They laugh)_

Sam: No but, honestly Peter’s such a great dude. The only difference I feel like between your on-camera self and your regular life self are that you don’t swear as much on camera and like, you’re a bit more, you know, serious. But like, the Peter in Vandal is the real Peter Maldonado.

Peter: That’s so sweet. _(a beat)_ Sam on the other hand, total phony. It’s all fake. It’s all for the cameras.

Sam: Hundred percent. My name’s not even really Sam Ecklund.

Peter: What is it then?

Sam: ….Dave.

Peter: Classic Dave.

**Cut to; Peter holding a board again, search box reads ‘Did Sam Ecklund’**

Peter: ‘Did Sam Ecklund have braces?’

Sam: Yes and I do not want to relive that even for a minute. Next question.

Peter: ‘Did Sam Ecklund graduate high school?’

Sam: Yup. June 26th 2018.

Peter: ‘Did Sam Ecklund do the dicks?’

Sam: Wouldn’t you like to know?

Peter: I mean, yeah, clearly they would.

Sam: Well the short answer is no, but the long answer is watch American Vandal season one now streaming on Netflix.

Peter: Would there be a medium answer?

Sam: The medium answer is if I did do the dicks I’m not about to admit it during this interview, now I am?

Peter: Moving on, ‘Did Sam Ecklund date Gabi?’

Sam: Honestly, see above answer—

Peter: —yeah it’s the same—

Sam: —It’s exactly the same.

**Cut to; Sam holding a board again, the search box reads “Is Peter Maldonado”**

Sam: ‘Is Peter Maldonado Brazilian?’

Peter: Nope. Puerto Rican and Cuban.

Sam: Nice, nice. I’m Swedish, Irish, and actually a bit Japanese, since you didn’t ask, Internet. ‘Is Peter Maldonado on Orange is the New Black?’ _(laughs)_

Peter: Nope, you’re thinking of Tyler Alvarez.

Sam: Good dude, very good dude.

Peter: Yeah no, we get mistaken for each other all the time.

Sam: We were all at the Netflix Emmy’s party and him and Peter were chatting and it was honestly so surreal. Which is great because in like twenty years when they make a docudrama about the making of Vandal we already know who’s playing Peter.

Peter: Great guy, very talented.

Sam: Very handsome. Lowkey instagram hoe but we all have weaknesses. Okay, ‘Is Peter Maldonado related to Tyler Alvarez?” _(laughs and continues to laugh over Peter talking)_

Peter: I can’t believe you just called my brother an instagram hoe… _(Sam is still laughing)_ But yeah, no we’re not related.

**Cut to; same, Sam is no longer laughing**

Sam: ‘Is Peter Maldonado related to Martin Maldonado?’ I don’t...do you know who that is?

Peter: I don’t— I’m not sure. Can we google it?

Sam: I mean if you don’t know who he is I guess we can pretty safely say you’re not related.

Peter: Fair.

Sam: What if he’s not even like, a famous person, he’s just some _guy_ —

Peter: _(overlapping)_ Yeah they just heard of some guy with the same last name and were like, better google that one.

_(they laugh)_

Sam: Okay very last burning question, ‘Is Peter Maldonado friends with Sam in real life?’ Awwwwww.

Peter: Define friends.

Sam: Wow. _Wooooow_.

Peter: _(Overlapping)_ Yeah, obviously we’re friends. No, I really couldn’t have done this with anyone else, best co-producer and friend you could ask for.

Sam: _(Insistently)_ Best friend.

Peter: Best friend.

**Cut to; Sam holding another white board, in the search box it reads ‘American Vandal’**

Sam: Okay, okay, last round, lets get some real winners internet. Question one.

Peter & Sam: _(In unison)_ Did American Vandal win an Emmy?”

Sam: Sore spot.

Peter: What? No.

Sam: We’re bitter.

Peter: You might be, I’m not.

Sam: _(Overlapping)_ I can hold a grudge for both of us.

Peter: So Vandal was nominated for an Emmy for Outstanding Documentary or Nonfiction Series, and we were very gracious when the award went to Wild Wild Country.

Sam: Yeah, jokes aside that doc is _nuts_ , highly recommend.

Peter: ‘Was American Vandal fake?’

Sam: So many people think this. I don’t know why.

Peter: Hey, fact is stranger than fiction.

Sam: Stranger than Fiction. Great movie.

Peter: Excellent movie. But fictional, unlike Vandal which is based on real factual events.

Sam: The more you know. Okay, question three, ‘When is American Vandal season two getting released?’ September fourteenth. Mark your calendars. Clear your schedules. Have some snacks ready.

Peter: Next one, ‘Was American Vandal better when it was on Vimeo?’

Sam: _(Pats Peter on the knee_ ) Okay I know you have a lot of feelings about this, but let's do the spark notes version.

Peter: Look, if you think that having actually good, not-stock music and better graphics _(makes air quotes)_ “destroys” the doc—

Sam: —You have bad taste—

Peter: —Right and just like, ugh, having the Netflix team actually allowed me to get _closer_ to my directorial vision because I wasn’t being weighed down by what was feasible. If you like the Vimeo version better that’s your prerogative I guess.

Sam: Like, we get it, you think you’re oh so superior for having seen it before it was super accessible. And if you think like that, jokes on you because I was the first person after Peter to ever see it, which makes me the _most_ superior and I think the Netflix version is bomb.

Peter: Thanks, man.

Sam: You’re welcome. Okay last one, last one, ‘Are the guys from American Vandal…’

Sam & Peter: _(In unison)_ ‘Dating?’

_(There’s a brief pause as they exchange looks)_

Sam: Do you wanna…?

Peter: Yeah, no, I’ll go, I’ll go. So the short answer is yeah, we are dating—

Sam: —The long answer is watch American Vandal season one.

_(They both laugh)_

Peter: _Honestly_.

Sam: _(Overlapping)_ Yeah, like, actually for real. When I rewatch stuff from season one I’m always like, wow, maybe the real vandal was the love we found along the way.

Peter: Maybe the real dicks were in our hearts the whole time.

Sam: Yes. Exactly. But yeah, no so we’ve been together almost two years—

Peter: —Two years September twelfth.

Sam: I think this is— this is the first time we’ve officially announced it on the record I think. Like I knew people had sort of speculated—

Peter: —I mean clearly they were turning to the internet for answers.

Sam: I mean it’s a hard line to walk because, like, obviously, we’re very happy together but like—

Peter: _(overlapping)_ Yeah when you’re investigating you want the focus to be on the story and not our personal lives.

Sam: Totally. But yeah, no you heard it here first, folks.

Peter: Youtube Official.

Sam: Way better than Facebook Official.

Peter: For sure.

Sam: Okay, big finish, big finish.

Peter: ‘On American Vandal who is the turd burglar?’

Sam: Gotta watch season two to find out. Streaming September fourteenth—

Peter: —Only on Netflix.

Sam: Awww babe you autocomplete me.

_(Peter laughs and Sam tosses the white board towards the camera)_

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks as always to my beta/cheerleading team evol_love and youshallnotfinditso, you guys autocomplete me <3


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